


The Merc With The Mouth

by Oneandonlylila



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Costumes, Deadpool being Deadpool, Flirting, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Humor, Insecurity, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Name-Calling, Nicknames, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 05:41:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8433892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oneandonlylila/pseuds/Oneandonlylila
Summary: A week before Halloween, Peter and Wade make plans and talk about Halloween through texts. But what Peter doesn't know is that when Wade said he was going to be a stripper, he wasn't joking around. And on that fateful night, he gets a pleasant surprise at his doorstep.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys like this little ficlet of mine! I've been writing so much angst lately that I thought it was long overdue for some sappy stuff! 
> 
> Happy Halloween lovelies! <3

It was an exact week before Halloween. Peter had been laying in bed for hours texting Wade. He had a movie marathon playing on the TV in his bedroom, but it was long forgotten. He was in red boxers and a T-shirt that said "Mad Scientist" on it. His hair was tousled from running his fingers through it so much. Talking to Wade, whether it be through the phone screen or in person, always made Peter feel the need to play with his hair like some teenage girl. But Wade thought it was cute.  

Making plans for Halloween wasn’t a difficult task. Wade apparently knew someone who was throwing a massive party in town, so they decided to go together. It's not like Peter had any other plans or even a better suggestion of where to spend the night anyways. They could have spent it alone in his apartment cuddled together under the covers watching horror movies, but Peter knew how much Wade loved Halloween. Besides, they could do that the day after. The way things are going, Wade probably wont be leaving Peter alone on the 31st ….or the 1st.  

Peter: So what are you gonna be for Halloween?  

Bae-Pool: Hmm not quite sure bug-a-boo  

Bae-Pool: Probs a stripper ;) 

Reading the last text made Peter roll his eyes and let out a chuckle. Imagining Wade in nothing but a thong, crammed into the tight space...It made him blush to say the least. 

Peter: Boy would that be a sight to see lol  

Bae-Pool: Idk if Id be allowed to go trick or treating 

Peter: Probs not ;D 

Bae-Pool: Could I knock on your door tho? *wiggles eyebrows*  

Peter: Of course babe ;) more than once if you really wanted to  

Bae-Pool: Depends on how yummy your candy is ;P 

Peter: I only have the best babe! 

It was 1am and Peter was cursing at himself for staying up so late texting Wade. He had work in the morning and he needed some kind of decent sleep. So he bid his boyfriend a goodnight. 

 

Peter looked at the clock and almost choked on his soda. Five pm on Halloween night and he wasn’t even showered yet. He still needed to get ready before Wade picked him up at seven for dinner and then they were going to head to the Halloween party. Showering... getting his costume together and well, on his person... getting his hair to be just right, but then realizing that it probably doesn’t even matter how his hair looks.  

When Peter finished getting ready and was pouring some candy into a big bowl to place outside his door, the doorbell rang. Finishing up and carrying the bowl in one hand, he opened the door and proceeded to drop the bowl of candy onto the doorway floor.  

There in front of him was, somehow, a pole standing up in his floor of the building and a Wade almost butt naked...in the hallway...swinging around on the magically standing pole.  

Wade stood in front of the pole, both hands on it, and he dipped down and swayed back up the pole seductively against it. He wrapped a leg around the pole and swung himself around, an arm stretched out toward Peter, who had his jaw dropped to the floor.  

Apparently finished with his little routine, Wade stood in front of Peter with a very wide grin on his face. "Happy Halloween baby boy." 

"I...you...pole...what?"  

"I told you what I was gonna be tonight. Did you forget? I couldn’t get it out of my head. Tonight's gonna be a blast." Wade ended the sentence with a wiggle of his eyebrows, insinuating something Peter was already on the verge of thinking. 

Peter gave a smirk of his own once he digested what just happened in the hallway. He thought he heard a door to his left quietly close and wondered if they enjoyed the show as much as he did.  

"So, babe, what's your stripper name?"  

"Merc with the Mouth." Wade smirked when he said, "mouth." Peter was beginning to wonder if they were even going to make it to the party if Wade kept this up.  

"Uh-huh..." Peter engraved what was in front of him into his mind. Wade was in a red and black thong type of thing. He knew it was similar to a thong because he could clearly see Wade's delicious ass, but his dick was pretty snug in the front. And very visible, but through the fabric. If it was like a woman's thong, there would have been a lot more for the eye to see.  

Thinking of people seeing his boyfriend made him become selfish. "Come inside you dork."  

Picking up the spilled candy, Peter placed it on a little table next to his door in the hall and closed the door behind him. Not even questioning how the stripper pole got there, or how its getting out.  

He found Wade strategically leaning against the wall behind the couch, just a few feet away from the front door. Looking him up and down, he looked very good to say the least. Peter had to keep himself from whipping out his camera to capture the moment forever.  

He did it anyways.  

"Ya like what ya see, Spidey?"  

"Oh, definitely. I really didn’t think you were serious Wade! Please tell me you have a change of costume for dinner. We cannot go out with you only in a thong."  

"What about you! Mr. Spider-Man!"  

Peter looked down at himself and blushed lightly. He thought it would be funny to go out as Spider-Man. Maybe not even wear the mask now that he thought about it. It was harmless after all. Its Halloween and there will probably be hundreds of Spider-Mans roaming the streets and hittin' up all the parties. Anyone of them could be the 'real' Spider-Man.  

"Oh come on! This is all I had!' 

"Guess it's Halloween every day for Spidey. I have my suit in the car! I'll wear mine and you wear yours and we'll be the most fashionable couple out there tonight!" And with that, Peter got a sweet kiss from Wade and out the door he went.  

Not long after, he returned with a Dum Dum in his smiling mouth.  

"Those are for the kids babe." 

"Exactly." 

Wade slipped into his suit, leaving the thong on to Peter's approval. With all the commotion, they were running late. He put the mask on and turned to look at Peter.  

"You're gonna wear the mask? I wasn’t gonna wear mine." 

"Well.. Yeah... I don’t wanna scare people to death with my face. Or give you a bad rep." 

"Babe. It's Halloween. No one will give you a second glance tonight. And if they did it would only be to compliment you on what they would think is prosthetic makeup. Besides, you should only care what I think." 

Closing the gap between them, Wade asked lightly, "And what would that be?" 

"That you're beautiful", Peter said with a glimmer in his eye. 

Before he could say more, Peter was hushed by Wade's lips.  

"You wear the mask. And I won't wear mine. How about that? Then maybe later I can have a spidey-kiss. Ya know how much I love kissing you upside down." And with that he winked and put the Spidey mask over Peter's head, stopping just before it covered his mouth to kiss him again. 

"Fine, you win", Peter responded with an audible smirk on his face.  

Walking out the door, hand in hand, and out the apartment complex, the duo passed by a tiny Spider-Man who they could clearly see was a girl by the extra long blonde hair poking out of the mask. She stopped in front of Peter and pointed to him.  

"Your costume's wrong! The eyes are too big and the spider-symbol is all wrong!" With that, she looked over to Wade, who was clearly trying to keep his composure and not burst out laughing. "And you. Your special effects makeup looks fabulous. I love Deadpool. I saw him once."  

She then pulled on his arm so he'd bend over to her level and kiss his cheek. Then she was gone in a flash. Wade's eyes grew large. If he could blush he would have.  

"What just happened," whispered Peter, in which his response was a Wade bursting out in laughter.  

"Im fucking Spider-Man! How could my suit be wrong?! All the other costumes are wrong for fucks sake!"  

Wade was doubled over with tears in his eyes as Peter had a small moment of confusion and bewilderment at the fact that a 10 year old just came up to him and called him out for apparently how wrong his suit was.  

"Come on Spidey! Or should I even call you that?" snickered Wade.  

"Shaddup babe. Im hungry, lets just go eat." 

As they got in the car and Wade started driving, he asked Peter, "Do you think the pole will still be there when we get back tonight?" 

"I don’t know, I doubt anyone would really touch it..why?" 

"Good. I want to bring it into your apartment. You got a front row ticket to see The Merc With The Mouth."  

Peter could see Wade wiggling his eyebrows once again and he couldn’t help but laugh and get excited all at the same time. 

It was gonna be a long night.   


End file.
